Victimizing The Rape Victim – Degraded Male Mindset

Yesterday in NOIDA,  a girl was raped by five boys in a car – all were neighbours, and knew each other. It is said that they asked her to accompany them to a party, to which she agreed, later, after the party got over, these boys who were drunk, raped her in their car.

After reading this story, many, especially men, would ask the following question:

Why the girl went alone with those boys?

And to reinforce such ‘thinking’, NOIDA SP has said that the girl was indecent. A slander and insult to the rape victim.

To those who ask above question, here is the answer:

The girl knew those boys, they were her neighbours and it is evident from the fact she went alone with them, that she trusted their character, and believed in moral integrity of boys. Just because she went for the party alone with so many boys doesn’t make her indecent, everybody want some fun, and a girl who trusted those boys would have thought she would enjoy the party in the ‘secure’ company of those boys.

It is not girl who has to change her ‘character’ or behaviour, – don’t we see Sonia Gandhi or Sushma Swaraj holding meetings late into nights with fellow parliamentarians, hundreds of them? Aren’t they respected and feared? – it is boys and men, who should stop visualizing woman as a ‘sexual object’, just because she wears less, and talks more with them.

Before asking such question as to why she went for the party alone, any man or woman, having a common sense and sympathy would ask – why those bastards raped her in first place? Have they been caught and any justice been done to poor girl? – No, to be frank, most of us, don’t ask such pro-victim questions; we in India, that too boys, have been brought up in a culture where women are ought to be inside the house looking after children, managing home and satiating husband’s carnal pleasures.

When we assume things are changing for the better with lot of ‘education’ and interaction with and within societies, incidents like this crop up and shame us all.

Even I had that mindset, that girls should wear ‘full clothes’ and should not roam with boys, alone. That was many years ago, but later got the opportunity to meet and understand good people, including my father and broaden my thinking (I grew up in hostels from 6th standard to my graduation). It would be hypocritical if I say I was born with broad thinking. However we were taught to respect girls in our school and those lessons have been helpful lately.

It was shocking to hear Mamatha Bannerjee say that a case of rape was filed in Kolkatta to defame her! . That is a hard core political mindset that looks even at crime against same gender as something ‘conceived’ by opposition parties to bring bad name to her government. Classic case of intelligent blindness and opportunism.

Coming back to the girl who got raped in NOIDA, to all those people with degraded mindset, here is a point – if that girl’s was the mistake, why on earth she would go to a police station to book a case against those boys?

Now don’t argue saying she might have had some grudges against those boys. No girl, or a woman, as far as I believe, would risk her morality and character to book such a false case. If at all someone does this, that will be revealed by investigation. Before such investigation, no one should cast aspersions on victim or the complainant.

I have many times thought that castration is a good ‘therapy’ for rapists. Recently human rights activists have opposed such move in Germany, where castration is the punishment (or corrective measure?) for raping a girl.

Of course, a debate is needed about this, and this punishment must be based on sound judgement, and should not be violent.

A major reform in the mindset of Indian men is necessary, and that should start right from homes and then in schools.

It is a bit complex issue. Whatever, it is demoralizing to see officers, and politicians, responsible to ensure security and bring justice to the people and victims, are at the forefront of victimizing the victims, especially rape victims.

  • http://bhoogolam.blogspot.com Harinath

    Very good article. I agree with the views of the author.

  • Anupama D Masali

    Vinay, much appreciation for the message conveyed.

  • http://insightsonindia.com GB

    Thanks Anu.

  • http://insightsonindia.com GB

    @Harinath,

    Thank you very much.

  • http://www.facebook.com/RadhKrish Radha Krishna

    I really appreciate ur views vinay.. Very true only thing that can help against rape is to have a strong law and not debates slogans dharnas and all the heck human right activist do.. Many times seeing the human right activist it makes us to feel that they are in search of some news or incidents so that they can exist in everyone’s eye..
    A dramatic increase has been witnessed in incidents of rape cases in india in recent days.Each time such an incident takes place a debate begins in medias with calls for punishment to rapists,amendment in laws and preventive measures etc. However, in a few days same topic comes to a stand still without any proper solution.
    In most discussions much emphasis is laid on what women should do to protect themselves… Woman should learn self-defense, lock themselves in their houses after darkness, should wear decent clothes or shouldn’t dare to drink or say no to late night parties etc. Being a woman it makes me furious, why our civilization considers us fragile instead of making the society a better place for us to live in..
    Most important,men should start thinking that they shouldn’t curtail women’s freedom and decide against raping her..Some level of awareness with more reforming of laws might help to stop the rape cases..

  • http://insightsonindia.com GB

    Thank you very much Radha,

    I appreciate your views and feedback :-) I am hopeful of change in mindsets, but it will be very slow.

  • Tintin

    A good article with examples correctly quoted and used. The irony is that in a nation where on one hand the country is feminized and respected; where examples of brave women are quoted; the women are also looked down upon and cursed for being a victim. The politicians and eminent heads of religions hold a girl responsible for her rape by accusing her for her attire, coming out of the house etc. They forget the fact that had brave women stayed behind curtains at the time of revolutions had they not sacrificed the country would have remained in dearth for more years to come. Its fine for them if they bring forward their wives to fight elections and their female counterparts as their counterparts but it is a crime if another woman has moved out to earn bread and living or to enjoy with her husband’s and friends. These people have changed the very definition of rape victim as to a girl belonging to elite class family of politicians, sants, businessmen etc. whereas a girl of poor or middle class family if raped is termed as indecent, defaulter, criminal, and guilty…… Had this been only the attitude of men it could have been forgiven but the fact is that even women on chairs carry the same attitude.

    • http://insightsonindia.com INSIGHTS

      Thanks TinTin. Yes, it is sad that even women who hold responsible positions fall into the category of hypocrites who blame the victims and pass judgements.

      It will take many decades to change this mindset. And to change this mindset, more and more women should enter public life, improve their status economically and politically.

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